Once again, this is always meant to bless those who have lost a loved one in knowing that they are not alone. And to help someone who hasn't, understand one person's road through grief. Most of all, it's healing for me to write about this journey...one I never expected to take.
This will finally get me caught up on my journal entries over the years and lead up to this year's April 11th and the five year anniversary. Warning: It's a long one! :)
March 9th, 2011
You would have been "40" today. A milestone event, an enormous party planned, your joker self in full form, your storytelling, antics and famous smile on display...
Today has been surprisingly tough, raw and emotional. I feel the loss of you like a heavy weight on my spirit. I want to feel your presence somehow...be still to see if God will give me some sort of supernatural experience today...just a tiny something so I can have you alive again for just a bit. I know you are always near in whatever way you can be and that Kim Mikrut's words will stick with me. She said that the Bible says that those who pass are all looking down on us as an army of witnesses to this life here. She feels her father is watching over her. If you are watching and witnessing my life, I hope you know that I still miss you every day. I still hurt from the loss of you but I have hope. You still lead me in unsaid ways, your example still instructs me. Your jokes still live on. Your smile is only a thought away. Your words of encouragement are heard in my heart when I need them most. I love you still. I miss you always.
April 11th , 2011
So, here we are again...another year has come and gone. We've survived another one without you. More beautiful events have happened, more memories made, more laughter and joy have abounded. My baby has grown and celebrated his 1st birthday! We have moved into an incredible home that we cherish so much. Michael actually got a new truck after 16 years!
And somehow I don't feel like I need to tell you all this, because somehow it's still as though you were with us through it all. Your memory and what you gave each of us seems to carry you along on all these adventures with us. The first thing we did when we moved in was hang your wedding photo on a nail left in the wall from the previous owners at just the perfect spot in our home.
There is still the loss just a thought away. I wanted to share the excitement with you last week when Michael got his new truck. I knew you would have been the best person to celebrate FOR him. You would have been HAPPY for him...told him he deserved it...said all the reassuring things he needed to hear as he wrestled through all the internals of treating himself to something special. And finally, we both said how much we would have wanted to give you "Thunder" since you always told us you would have wanted it if he ever got rid of it. We would have trusted you to love him right. :)
And let's not forget the birth of Ali's son Maddux this year. There is no doubt that you were with us in some way ar that God let us know he feels our pain. It was not a coincidence that she went into labor 8 days early with her first baby, on your wedding anniversary of 9/5....her water broke at approx. 5:09 a.m. on 9/5 and Maddux was born at 5:09 p.m. on 9/5.
It was as if she was being given a new reason to celebrate that day...a gift from God to ease the pain of the memory of that day and to reassure her of how happy you would be that she was finding new joy.
I had the privilege of being asked to share in that moment with her and Nate and Skyla and Phil. It was a first for me and something I will never forget and always be thankful for. Words cannot describe it!
At one point, she asked me to bring her three photos she had in her bag...one was a wedding photo of her and Nate....and two were of her climb of Mt. Adams with you. She placed them upright beside her and began weeping, to which we all joined in...then we watched as she composed herself and used those photos specifically for strength. She is so beautiful. It took me too long to see the whole picture but I am so thankful now for the indescribable value she has in my life.
Which brings me to this morning...and my moment with "Barker" and Ransom. Your beloved "Barker" stuffed dog, given to Jaren on her first birthday...and the hilarious story behind you parting with him. And the many ways I have FIERCELY denied my children the privilege of playing with him because he was a gift from you. So...atop the nursery boudoir he has sat, for over four years now...a gentle reminder of your "Best Uncle" award. A reminder of how gentle, instructional, patient, adventurous, fun and kind you were to Jaren and Gentry and how you celebrated them and delighted in everything they did.
I have rocked three babies in my rocking chair next to "Barker" since your passing and nursed for countless hours. It seems the only time I am still and even then I am rocking and nursing...a constant multi-tasker! :) It is where I have thought of you repeatedly, processed and pondered my grief, strengthened my faith and looked up to smile at "Barker" enjoying the gentle reminder of your love for my family.
Atop the bureau he sits...very safe from any and all harm. So this morning, I go in to get Ransom to quickly nurse him so I can hurry to Radnor before the 80% chance of thunderstorms hit for the day. I am hurrying as usual, something you loved to tease me about, when I open the door to pull out an outfit for Ransom...and all of a sudden Barker nearly jumps off the top of his perfect spot and lands on the floor in front of my feet.
Hmmm...I'm thinking. Coincidence? Perhaps. Whatever it was, it made me stop. It made me know you were with me today. It made me break into a wide grin. It made me immediately picture you with your fist to your mouth giggling in your obnoxious practical joker way. It made me cry. It made me reach down, pick him up, kiss him and get Ransom to audibly giggle while I tickled his nose with Barkers. Thank you for that God...for still giving me his presence when I crave it.
So that brings me to this moment. I have made it to the top of this climb again and here I sit on "your bench" tracing my fingers over your MIKE + ALI penmanship....grateful for this small piece of your timelessness...writing quickly now because storm clouds have now made it here and my answered prayers are coming to an end with this weather...reflecting once again on your beautiful spirit and all the ways you are loved still and missed beyond any words.
My first three years without you were complete shock. Complete shock on nearly every level. This year has been a year of acceptance. And now I pray that my future holds healing and peace about your secrecy with me. I know that God is a God of restoration and healing and hope...it's maybe the next step for me.
I am so thankful for ever reaping the benefits and blessings of knowing you, for receiving your love and protection and guidance. Thank you for all the ways your faith strengthened mine and all the ways I still carry your lessons and wisdom with me today. I love you today and for eternity and am thankful we will be together again one day.
P.S. OH MY WORD!! I just know you were here with me today!!
So, today is always my day to reflect, to ponder, to memorialize you...the weather ALL along has said there was an 80% chance of thunderstorms and heavy rain. I'm bummed. I REALLY wanted that one day out of the year to be sunny for my annual Radnor hike and journaling. It was over 80 degrees and sunny four days leading up to today...pondering...wondering what to do instead. Mom is in town and offers to watch the kids so I can go...
It's the morning of and it's sunny! It looks like it has the potential for clouds but it's sunny! So I get on a mission to get all the kids their breakfast, diapers changed and Ransom nursed BEFORE it rains. I pray repeatedly between tasks, "Lord, PLEASE just let it hold off until I can finish my Radnor thing!".
So I'm off, watching the clouds as I drive to the Radnor Lake parking lot. I'm riding the Lexus' behind all the way into the parking lot...I get parked. I try to pause, be still and focus. I begin walking. I see several fallen trees from the months recent tornado and storms and feel the strong wind and think..."Watch a tree fall and land on me while I am out here alone in the woods!".
But I make it to the top and the sun is still present. I journal, I pray, all the while watching the clouds approach, playing a "fleece" type game with God and this ominous storm approaching. I finish writing and hear God whisper, "It's okay. Take all the time you need. I can control the rain.".
So I think and listen and I am so still....a VERY rare thing for me. I am listening to every marvelous sound of nature and I am ENJOYING it....soaking it up....but I can't leave...just CAN'T. This happened last year. I can't bring myself to leave this spot. I feel closest to Michael and God here. It's my peaceful place.
So, I lay back on the bench, put my journal and books back in my all-prepared plastic rain protected Kroger sack, and lay on my back on the bench. And for the first time I am looking up...and thinking and enjoying the peace. Enjoying that childlike feeling of looking at each leaf on those very tall tree trunks...the branches are swaying, the clouds are settling in and because I'm at this new angle looking up, I am able to witness the glorious sighting of a red-tail hawk just above my head. (These have been "Michael's" God nods since his passing and come at just the right times for me and others in our family)
He glides in so majestically and soars right over the top of me, right in my line of vision. I think, "Surely that is NOT a red-tail hawk! Did I see that right?!" So...he politely turns and glides right back over me...repeating his perfectly peaceful dance over my head a dozen times, not once or twice, a dozen and then the sun peeks out and shines on me and my tears...and at that moment a tree cracks and comes CRASHING to the ground just 15 yards from me!!
Unbelievable! I start thinking about...no PLANNING a camping trip for this month, convinced I need to be in nature again...enjoy it again like both my Michael's have...be still enough again to remember the love I've always had for it but kept tucked back behind all my tasks...and I think, "You know God, you may have to actually MAKE it start raining to get me off of this bench. I'm not certain I have the strength to make myself leave...and so...the raindrops begin falling at that moment...little by little, ever so slowly until one hits me in the ear and I decide I might need to move. The trees above me will only be able to offer me partial protection for so long.
So, with tear-streaked cheeks, I begin a very slow and reluctant walk down the path, glancing often back to the bench I just bent to kiss. Somehow I didn't notice the entire hillside COVERED in purple wildflowers on the way up, Michael's favorite color. And I'm breathing in that old familiar scent of the earth when it rains.
The rain is picking up but somehow I know the clouds will not open up and dump until I am safely back in my truck...I believe God's promise to me. I'm smiling now, even more convicted to enjoy nature more and make sure that camping trip happens.
And so, here I sit....writing while a torrential DOWNPOUR ensues outside my warm and dry and protected truck seat.
You are a glorious God! A faithful and loving and protective God! Thank you for making me celebrate you today...for my stunned and delighted laughter, for joy, for life, for love, for remembrance, for hope, peace, healing, survival, babies, Michael Delk, my parents, for all the surrounding blessings!!
Gotta go! I've got to go LIVE!! You just turned my sadness into joy!!
Monday, April 2, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
What I Love and Miss About WA...
On a three week visit to my homestate of Washington, I was reminded of my family and what I miss and love and all the things my brother and I had to leave behind to move here in 1997....
Thankful for all the memories and the love I still have for my wonderful home state.
- Our birthplace of Davenport, our first hometown of Wilbur, our family in Almira and that fateful day at the Reardan payphone on Christmas Eve.
- Grandma and Grandpa Painter
- IGA trips
- Grandma and Grandpa's willow tree and all the beatings I took from it from my brothers.
- Our red berry tree fights in the yard.
- Wind!! Wind so strong, up to 75 mph....often.
- Getting ready for prom and having my hair blown sideways. :)
- Wheat fields...bright green...rippling in the wind.
- Mt. Adams views whenever we wanted.
- Mt. St. Helens views.
- Mt. Hood views and ski trips together
- The magnificent Columbia Gorge and it's beautiful waterfalls, blue water and verdant green splendor.
- Dust devils in the dry heat.
- Summer forest fires, Smokey the Bear and signs stating the days fire potential.
- Wishram fires.
- Dry heat and cool temperatures in the shade.
- Dressing for 105 degree weather and 40 degree weather, all in one day...
- Pine trees as far as the eye can see.
- Crisp, clean air.
- Jet skiing on the Columbia River.
- Fresh fruit stands.
- Wineries
- King City Chocolate Factory
- Spokane and all our family there.
- Auntie Jeanne
- Sheri and Ghassan's house and all the memories of hospitality there.
- Lebanese/Armenian garlic-filled food!!
- ZaZa and Rima and their servant hearts.
- Screen doors and being able to use them! Feeling the fresh air coming in the windows and hearing the breeze outside.
- Playing and laying in the grass without chiggers.
- Lake Roosevelt and Jones Bay
- Randy and Sandy, Erin and Travis, Samantha and all our dear friends
- Our camper.
- Mom and Dad of course!!
- Clint, Kirstie, Wyatt, Amity and family
- Our family...our roots.
- Lake Chelan
- Lake Couer d'lene, ID
- Mt. Spokane
- The South Hill
- All the different locations and trips I puked on as a child.
- The Columbia River and how it's weaved into most memories throughout the state and throughout the years.
- John Day Dam
- Grand Coulee Dam
- The Wild Horses statue at Vantage Bridge
- Coulee City, Moses Lake, Ephrata
- Uncle Orville, Aunt Kit, Graydon and The Ranch
- Uncle Slim
- David, Judy, Lani and DJ
- Ice skating on the tennis courts in Almira
- Jerry Emerson
- Appaloosa horses
- Leavenworth and Wenatchee
- Your 1968 Chevy Stepside Pick-up
- Remote, rural towns
- Incredibly unique starry nights
- John Day River
- Rock formations along I84
- The heiroglyphics at Horsethief Park.
- Finding crystals in the rocks near Rufus and Biggs.
- All your hometown gigs and barfights you watched from the stage.
- Driving over Biggs Bridge in the wind.
- Now...the windmills...
- Being in WA and seeing hundreds of miles of OR farmland.
- The Goldendale Golf Course
- Combines
- Big trucks, big cowboy hats and cowboy boots...the real cowboys.
- The Demolitian Derby and Mt. Adams views
- Rodeos and the "Ring of Fire"
- Beer Gardens
- Licorice, salt water taffy and Dehart's Brach's candy by the pound
- Icicles
- 602 E. Collins
- Camping in Trout Lake
- Huckleberry picking with cougars and bears and dangerous logs...filling our buckets.
- The pine beetle in my hair.
- Your campfire serenades and guitar playing
- Huckleberry cobbles and muffins by Mom
- Christmas feasts by Mom
- Grandma's chocolate chip cookies
- Trains all over the gorge.
- Wild horses on Highway 97
- Moms tacos!!
- Auntie Jeanne's perfume
- Antique hunting and family treasures
- Community Days Parade
- Dad standing and saluting the Veterans as they go by in the parade...always swell with pride seeing him do that.
- Your Mother's Day swing on the island.
- Rattlesnake hunting
- Classmates and reunions
Thankful for all the memories and the love I still have for my wonderful home state.
Friday, March 9, 2012
3rd Anniversary of My Loved One...
Thanks for hanging in there with me while I attempt to get each anniversary journal entry transferred to this before the fifth year anniversary gets here...
Once again, these are always meant to let someone out there know they are not on an island in their grief and to give those who haven't experienced it...a better understanding and empathy for it. It has also blessed me to be able to write, which I love. It helps me express my grief and also helps to show me the ways it has changed and hasn't changed each year...
April 11th, 2010
Another year lived and survived without you experiencing our life with us...a much overdue trial occurring May 25th on your behalf. It was an excruciating and exhausting experience...discussing every single aspect of your entire life,, the wreck, your injuries and to what extent, that traumatic night at Vanderbilt when you passed, your funeral, what it's like for us now, seeing and facing the illegal alien who was involved and all the legalities that involved. It brought every single thing back us for each of us. I remember sleeping nearly a day and a half after that.
And another beautiful healthy baby boy that you would have adored. I can't help but think, each time we have another precious life added to our family, how much they will miss not getting to meet you, and how proud you would be of us...how happy you would be for us.
This past year has been amazing...blessings everywhere, around every corner...just exactly what you would have wanted and prayed for us to enjoy...still so strange you aren't here to enjoy them with us.
You are still everywhere for me. You are still in my heart every day. You are still so painful to be without.
So much has happened for Ali this year that I know you would want for her. I was getting ready the other day and stopped and said to Michael, "I still cannot believe we survived losing Michael Lloyd". To which he wisely responded that it's something we'll always, daily, continue to survive until we see him again. That' s the truth...my heart is mending, new life, love and joy are still present, but you are always a memory away...a thought away...an overwhelming emotion of loss away.
Mom is here helping with the birth of Ransom just ten days ago. I will continue to try my best to love her even half as good as you did. You sure give me a lot to live up to but I am thankful she experienced so much with you and received so much of your love in her life.
Leaving this house and moving in another month will be difficult because my last memories of you are here but I know you will be wherever we are in our hearts. We love you always...
Once again, these are always meant to let someone out there know they are not on an island in their grief and to give those who haven't experienced it...a better understanding and empathy for it. It has also blessed me to be able to write, which I love. It helps me express my grief and also helps to show me the ways it has changed and hasn't changed each year...
April 11th, 2010
Another year lived and survived without you experiencing our life with us...a much overdue trial occurring May 25th on your behalf. It was an excruciating and exhausting experience...discussing every single aspect of your entire life,, the wreck, your injuries and to what extent, that traumatic night at Vanderbilt when you passed, your funeral, what it's like for us now, seeing and facing the illegal alien who was involved and all the legalities that involved. It brought every single thing back us for each of us. I remember sleeping nearly a day and a half after that.
And another beautiful healthy baby boy that you would have adored. I can't help but think, each time we have another precious life added to our family, how much they will miss not getting to meet you, and how proud you would be of us...how happy you would be for us.
This past year has been amazing...blessings everywhere, around every corner...just exactly what you would have wanted and prayed for us to enjoy...still so strange you aren't here to enjoy them with us.
You are still everywhere for me. You are still in my heart every day. You are still so painful to be without.
So much has happened for Ali this year that I know you would want for her. I was getting ready the other day and stopped and said to Michael, "I still cannot believe we survived losing Michael Lloyd". To which he wisely responded that it's something we'll always, daily, continue to survive until we see him again. That' s the truth...my heart is mending, new life, love and joy are still present, but you are always a memory away...a thought away...an overwhelming emotion of loss away.
Mom is here helping with the birth of Ransom just ten days ago. I will continue to try my best to love her even half as good as you did. You sure give me a lot to live up to but I am thankful she experienced so much with you and received so much of your love in her life.
Leaving this house and moving in another month will be difficult because my last memories of you are here but I know you will be wherever we are in our hearts. We love you always...
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
A Weary Mom...
Big sigh...and a couple more. I had one of the worst days I have ever had as a mother yesterday. It involved things that have been brewing in my home for about four weeks now...things like defiance, children screaming at one another, pushing, shoving, hitting, whining, tattling, fussing, selfishness... It seemed to come to a head yesterday as I tackled a fifteen hour day alone. Finally, at 10:00 p.m. after three hours of trying to discipline the kids through bedtime...I LOST IT.
I didn't just get angry, I took it to a whole different level. I didn't physically harm my children but my words pierced their precious spirits. I said words no child should have to hear. I went in twenty minutes later with humility, repentance, an apology and a speech that said all the "right" things, but for me if felt like way too late.
So, then I settled into a melancholy state of self-loathing. I have taken it to a whole different level where I awoke this morning convinced I am incapable of doing this "mother" thing...incapable of writing or speaking on motherhood with ANY amount of wisdom...thinking I should resign from being a board member for my local home school co-op because it's all just a big joke. The idea that I am worthy of any such titles when I am such a failure as remaining self-controlled...
Michael informed me that THIS was blog worthy. THIS was where the realness lies...that venting to all of you the truth about where I find myself at times, is worthy of my time today. I would love to never have to admit that my temper gets the best of me...that I feel at times like I am failing at motherhood, that I feel that my children would be so much better off with another mother.
I wish I could say that I could finish this blog with wonderful insight into scripture that points me back to complete joy like so many other blogs I read but I am still wrestling through it today. I know what many of you would say to comfort me in this moment of weariness and I would say many of the very same things to you...
For now, I will cling to Romans 7:14-8:2 and I will play worship music in my home. I will cry out to Jesus to help me through each moment. I will call a friend or two to vent and ask advice and I will plan to get out in this glorious weather to try to restore each of our souls....
I am thankful for the apostle Paul who writes, and therefore, helps remind me that I am not on an island in this journey. Romans 7:14-8:2 from The Message says...
I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself---after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.
But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin it there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.
My answer always comes back to GRACE. Grace for my children and grace for myself. Realizing that Christ covers us in grace. If you think of it today, please say a prayer for your weary friend.
Thanks for listening...
I didn't just get angry, I took it to a whole different level. I didn't physically harm my children but my words pierced their precious spirits. I said words no child should have to hear. I went in twenty minutes later with humility, repentance, an apology and a speech that said all the "right" things, but for me if felt like way too late.
So, then I settled into a melancholy state of self-loathing. I have taken it to a whole different level where I awoke this morning convinced I am incapable of doing this "mother" thing...incapable of writing or speaking on motherhood with ANY amount of wisdom...thinking I should resign from being a board member for my local home school co-op because it's all just a big joke. The idea that I am worthy of any such titles when I am such a failure as remaining self-controlled...
Michael informed me that THIS was blog worthy. THIS was where the realness lies...that venting to all of you the truth about where I find myself at times, is worthy of my time today. I would love to never have to admit that my temper gets the best of me...that I feel at times like I am failing at motherhood, that I feel that my children would be so much better off with another mother.
I wish I could say that I could finish this blog with wonderful insight into scripture that points me back to complete joy like so many other blogs I read but I am still wrestling through it today. I know what many of you would say to comfort me in this moment of weariness and I would say many of the very same things to you...
For now, I will cling to Romans 7:14-8:2 and I will play worship music in my home. I will cry out to Jesus to help me through each moment. I will call a friend or two to vent and ask advice and I will plan to get out in this glorious weather to try to restore each of our souls....
I am thankful for the apostle Paul who writes, and therefore, helps remind me that I am not on an island in this journey. Romans 7:14-8:2 from The Message says...
I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself---after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.
But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin it there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.
My answer always comes back to GRACE. Grace for my children and grace for myself. Realizing that Christ covers us in grace. If you think of it today, please say a prayer for your weary friend.
Thanks for listening...
Friday, March 2, 2012
To My Children With Love...
To those of you reading this before my children are actually able to read...
Disclaimer: This is in no way meant to be one of those letters where I brag on my children and they are made out to be perfect. I almost deleted this post today after the kids bickered all the way to Costco and back over a kite...it is however, truth about the ways I feel they are marvelous and deserve praise....because after all, that IS one of the most precious gifts I can give them and it IS my responsibility as their Mommy.
Hello dear babies,
I wanted to write to you and tell you how much I love you. I now have the memory of a goldfish and so I think it's important for you to have my words written down so that you know all the ways that I loved you...right here in this moment and the way you were loved and seen through my eyes today...
My dear, dear Jaren...
The words, "It's a GIRL!" were some of the sweetest words of my life. I had prayed for them...I had prayed for specific qualities and physical characteristics, not certain that the God of the universe would see fit to grant me my wishes and yet He did. He is a God like that. A God who wants to bless His children and cares about all the "little" things. I prayed and God literally gave me everything I had hoped for in you. You are the first real tangible gift for me that proved I was forgiven.
You are the child I have the most regrets with. You got all of my mistakes as the first child while I found out the hard way the lessons God was teaching me through motherhood...and yet, you are gracious and loving and forgiving. And you spend your days reassuring me of your love for me and your Daddy and your brothers. Our home is filled with the sounds of piano playing each day thanks to you and your love of music. You are also an important part and Deejay in our family dance-offs. Your heart is one of a servant. You are an old soul who has always been older than your years. This is a blessing and a curse as your parent because you are also prone to thinking you have all the answers...I, ah-hem, know another person in your home you may have inherited this from...I often tell people that you could probably run this house without your parents if we let you. You are a dreamer and a doer. You have a very strong work ethic that will serve you so well in life. You are wise beyond your years and grasp biblical concepts that would have seemed like a foreign language to me when I was your age. You asked to be baptized in the Jordan River for your 8th birthday in June...ah hem...may have to order some water online and pour it into a pool here in Nashville sweetie...
You are gifted. Things come naturally to you which will either serve you well or curse you, depending on whether you are spirit-filled or not. You are extremely successful to God and to us, if you become a wife, mother and lover of the Word and your God...even though this world will try to convince you that you need to do more. Your Daddy and I don't expect perfection from you and never will. I think you are one that has to be reminded of that each day and we always will.
You have a heart for others in need and I pray that is never squelched by the cynicism of this world but only used to glorify God's kingdom.
I have but one mission for you and that is for you to know that you are here on this earth to know Him and make Him known.
My tender, sweet Gentry...
Our family was wrapped into a perfect little package with our girl and our little prince. You screamed the loudest at birth out of all our babies and peed directly in my tummy the second you were born, but that all became ironic as we cuddled and nurtured our sweet boy. You are content. You are gentle and tender and sweet and calm and loving. You are empathetic which I am told is more difficult for boys, especially little ones. I can trust you alone for not minutes but HOURS. You have a sense of right and wrong and concern for upsetting your parents which makes you choose the best option...not ALL of the time, but more often than your siblings. You are the only child at this point who shows extreme gratitude over gifts given to you...stopping to wrap your arms around my legs and thank me repeatedly in the middle of your day, for that special gift you were given one week earlier. You love to stop what you are doing and hug my leg to tell me that you are so thankful God gave you the best mother in the world. You melt my heart. Your smile has always been a beacon of light into my soul, especially on days when I am weary with the tasks of motherhood. Your sister is your lifeline. She is so nurturing to your spirit in so many ways and your brothers are such a blessing to your playtime...not necessarily to your parents at all times, ah hem, but certainly to your fun side. You are stubborn, stubborn, stubborn and take the prize for the most whiny Delk toddler but I am pleased to announce that you have passed that torch. Your laugh and giggle are infectious and once you get going, there is no stopping your giggling fits. I have to draw you out to learn about your thoughts but once you feel safe and heard, you can talk all day long. :) You have a knack for art, especially painting and drawing and Dev says you have a real gift of creativity. I love your voice and I love your heart for the homeless and needy this past month. I love all the ways you brighten our life each day.
I have but one mission for you and that is for you to know that you are here on this earth to know Him and to make Him known.
My precious Easton...
God knows each of us so well and he knew EXACTLY what I needed and when it would be best, even when I didn't. You are my precious saving grace. You are my constant reminder that joy and light and life live on, even when you think your world is ending. You my dear one, came during the hardest year of my life. Just when I lost my beloved brother, God made you known to me, the very next day in fact. You saved me. You made me eat and pray and hope and take care of myself when I would have otherwise refused to do so. God knew I needed you. And from the second you were born, you have been keeping us on our toes ever since. You were a compliment to me...that the God of the universe believed I had the strength in that year to raise three babies, grieve and have a resident husband. And the even more beautiful gift is that I am constantly seeing your Uncle in your spirit. You are like him in so many ways which is an amazing blessing to you and oftentimes a stressor to your mother. :)
Even from birth you stood out. You were the only Delk baby with dark brown hair! We were so excited! And it stuck straight up which was a sign for things to come in your little personality. You are simply hilarious and our home delights in all the ways you make us laugh. You are magnetic, exuberant, passionate, silly, comedic, brilliant and fun. You have mad tumbling skills. Your contract work is amazing and you are responsible for a large percentage of my blog ideas. Just when I thought you were going to wear pull-ups until you were ten, you pulled through buddy and you are rockin' it! I cannot TELL you how many times I shake my head at you...dumbfounded...wondering where you get it...only to realize that you are exactly like me. :)
You are my snuggle bug which I love, because I wasn't sure if we would ever get you there since you were always on the go. You are curious, adventurous, fearless and your imagination is sensational. I have no doubt that your winning personality will be used to engage people and to hopefully foster in you and those you meet, a love for the Lord. Thank you for bearing with me as we struggled MIGHTILY to get to your fourth birthday buddy. We are doing good since then aren't we? :)
I have but one mission and that is for you to know that you are on this earth to know Him and to make Him known.
Our delicious Ransom....
You came to us in a season of respite and joy. You were the last missing piece to making this family feel so complete. I have gotten to enjoy and delight in each day with you, so much more than my other babies. I wasn't new to the experience, realized how fast it goes and knew you could be my last. Our life circumstances no longer contained all of the incredible weariness and stress and strain as the previous years did and for that you were blessed with parents who could enjoy you. You were expected to be Easton's little best friend and you have not disappointed. Though I am not fond on the ways you punch and kick him to defend yourself, I delight in all the other ways you make our home so joyful. I have called you "Delicious" for many reasons my sweet baby. Your spirit has always been one of contentment and joy and laughter and sweetness. You have always been an amazing sleeper and until the last month, have not asked for anything except food and water. I often have to search for you to find you because you wander the house, quietly playing until you get hungry and come seeking me out. :) You are starting to talk so much now which is so fun to hear what you have to say and it gives me a small glimpse into who you are becoming and who you will be. You still amaze me at all the things you understand and do, even though you cannot communicate verbally. You wake with a smile on your special little dimply face and you end your day with a hug and kiss. Your Daddy is your hero and you light up whenever you see him. You really do bring so much delight to each member of your family. Sissy, Gentry and Easton love to take responsibility for loving on you and helping you have what you need. They love to make you giggle and laugh and learn. I am so thankful for your precious spirit and the ways that God will use you to nurture and love others in your life.
I have but one mission and that is for you to know that you are on this earth to know Him and to make Him known.
I thank God for the gift of each of you individually, and for the gift of experiencing motherhood. I always thought that I would be responsible for teaching and training you...and I think I do, but I cannot TELL you all the ways God had a master plan in using it to teach and train me. I am still a piece of work and I am thankful that the God of the universe sees fit to mold me and use me and each one of us. Thank you so much for healing my soul.
Gotta go, one of you is banging on the back door...
Disclaimer: This is in no way meant to be one of those letters where I brag on my children and they are made out to be perfect. I almost deleted this post today after the kids bickered all the way to Costco and back over a kite...it is however, truth about the ways I feel they are marvelous and deserve praise....because after all, that IS one of the most precious gifts I can give them and it IS my responsibility as their Mommy.
Hello dear babies,
I wanted to write to you and tell you how much I love you. I now have the memory of a goldfish and so I think it's important for you to have my words written down so that you know all the ways that I loved you...right here in this moment and the way you were loved and seen through my eyes today...
My dear, dear Jaren...
The words, "It's a GIRL!" were some of the sweetest words of my life. I had prayed for them...I had prayed for specific qualities and physical characteristics, not certain that the God of the universe would see fit to grant me my wishes and yet He did. He is a God like that. A God who wants to bless His children and cares about all the "little" things. I prayed and God literally gave me everything I had hoped for in you. You are the first real tangible gift for me that proved I was forgiven.
You are the child I have the most regrets with. You got all of my mistakes as the first child while I found out the hard way the lessons God was teaching me through motherhood...and yet, you are gracious and loving and forgiving. And you spend your days reassuring me of your love for me and your Daddy and your brothers. Our home is filled with the sounds of piano playing each day thanks to you and your love of music. You are also an important part and Deejay in our family dance-offs. Your heart is one of a servant. You are an old soul who has always been older than your years. This is a blessing and a curse as your parent because you are also prone to thinking you have all the answers...I, ah-hem, know another person in your home you may have inherited this from...I often tell people that you could probably run this house without your parents if we let you. You are a dreamer and a doer. You have a very strong work ethic that will serve you so well in life. You are wise beyond your years and grasp biblical concepts that would have seemed like a foreign language to me when I was your age. You asked to be baptized in the Jordan River for your 8th birthday in June...ah hem...may have to order some water online and pour it into a pool here in Nashville sweetie...
You are gifted. Things come naturally to you which will either serve you well or curse you, depending on whether you are spirit-filled or not. You are extremely successful to God and to us, if you become a wife, mother and lover of the Word and your God...even though this world will try to convince you that you need to do more. Your Daddy and I don't expect perfection from you and never will. I think you are one that has to be reminded of that each day and we always will.
You have a heart for others in need and I pray that is never squelched by the cynicism of this world but only used to glorify God's kingdom.
I have but one mission for you and that is for you to know that you are here on this earth to know Him and make Him known.
My tender, sweet Gentry...
Our family was wrapped into a perfect little package with our girl and our little prince. You screamed the loudest at birth out of all our babies and peed directly in my tummy the second you were born, but that all became ironic as we cuddled and nurtured our sweet boy. You are content. You are gentle and tender and sweet and calm and loving. You are empathetic which I am told is more difficult for boys, especially little ones. I can trust you alone for not minutes but HOURS. You have a sense of right and wrong and concern for upsetting your parents which makes you choose the best option...not ALL of the time, but more often than your siblings. You are the only child at this point who shows extreme gratitude over gifts given to you...stopping to wrap your arms around my legs and thank me repeatedly in the middle of your day, for that special gift you were given one week earlier. You love to stop what you are doing and hug my leg to tell me that you are so thankful God gave you the best mother in the world. You melt my heart. Your smile has always been a beacon of light into my soul, especially on days when I am weary with the tasks of motherhood. Your sister is your lifeline. She is so nurturing to your spirit in so many ways and your brothers are such a blessing to your playtime...not necessarily to your parents at all times, ah hem, but certainly to your fun side. You are stubborn, stubborn, stubborn and take the prize for the most whiny Delk toddler but I am pleased to announce that you have passed that torch. Your laugh and giggle are infectious and once you get going, there is no stopping your giggling fits. I have to draw you out to learn about your thoughts but once you feel safe and heard, you can talk all day long. :) You have a knack for art, especially painting and drawing and Dev says you have a real gift of creativity. I love your voice and I love your heart for the homeless and needy this past month. I love all the ways you brighten our life each day.
I have but one mission for you and that is for you to know that you are here on this earth to know Him and to make Him known.
My precious Easton...
God knows each of us so well and he knew EXACTLY what I needed and when it would be best, even when I didn't. You are my precious saving grace. You are my constant reminder that joy and light and life live on, even when you think your world is ending. You my dear one, came during the hardest year of my life. Just when I lost my beloved brother, God made you known to me, the very next day in fact. You saved me. You made me eat and pray and hope and take care of myself when I would have otherwise refused to do so. God knew I needed you. And from the second you were born, you have been keeping us on our toes ever since. You were a compliment to me...that the God of the universe believed I had the strength in that year to raise three babies, grieve and have a resident husband. And the even more beautiful gift is that I am constantly seeing your Uncle in your spirit. You are like him in so many ways which is an amazing blessing to you and oftentimes a stressor to your mother. :)
Even from birth you stood out. You were the only Delk baby with dark brown hair! We were so excited! And it stuck straight up which was a sign for things to come in your little personality. You are simply hilarious and our home delights in all the ways you make us laugh. You are magnetic, exuberant, passionate, silly, comedic, brilliant and fun. You have mad tumbling skills. Your contract work is amazing and you are responsible for a large percentage of my blog ideas. Just when I thought you were going to wear pull-ups until you were ten, you pulled through buddy and you are rockin' it! I cannot TELL you how many times I shake my head at you...dumbfounded...wondering where you get it...only to realize that you are exactly like me. :)
You are my snuggle bug which I love, because I wasn't sure if we would ever get you there since you were always on the go. You are curious, adventurous, fearless and your imagination is sensational. I have no doubt that your winning personality will be used to engage people and to hopefully foster in you and those you meet, a love for the Lord. Thank you for bearing with me as we struggled MIGHTILY to get to your fourth birthday buddy. We are doing good since then aren't we? :)
I have but one mission and that is for you to know that you are on this earth to know Him and to make Him known.
Our delicious Ransom....
You came to us in a season of respite and joy. You were the last missing piece to making this family feel so complete. I have gotten to enjoy and delight in each day with you, so much more than my other babies. I wasn't new to the experience, realized how fast it goes and knew you could be my last. Our life circumstances no longer contained all of the incredible weariness and stress and strain as the previous years did and for that you were blessed with parents who could enjoy you. You were expected to be Easton's little best friend and you have not disappointed. Though I am not fond on the ways you punch and kick him to defend yourself, I delight in all the other ways you make our home so joyful. I have called you "Delicious" for many reasons my sweet baby. Your spirit has always been one of contentment and joy and laughter and sweetness. You have always been an amazing sleeper and until the last month, have not asked for anything except food and water. I often have to search for you to find you because you wander the house, quietly playing until you get hungry and come seeking me out. :) You are starting to talk so much now which is so fun to hear what you have to say and it gives me a small glimpse into who you are becoming and who you will be. You still amaze me at all the things you understand and do, even though you cannot communicate verbally. You wake with a smile on your special little dimply face and you end your day with a hug and kiss. Your Daddy is your hero and you light up whenever you see him. You really do bring so much delight to each member of your family. Sissy, Gentry and Easton love to take responsibility for loving on you and helping you have what you need. They love to make you giggle and laugh and learn. I am so thankful for your precious spirit and the ways that God will use you to nurture and love others in your life.
I have but one mission and that is for you to know that you are on this earth to know Him and to make Him known.
I thank God for the gift of each of you individually, and for the gift of experiencing motherhood. I always thought that I would be responsible for teaching and training you...and I think I do, but I cannot TELL you all the ways God had a master plan in using it to teach and train me. I am still a piece of work and I am thankful that the God of the universe sees fit to mold me and use me and each one of us. Thank you so much for healing my soul.
Gotta go, one of you is banging on the back door...
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
In Memory of Pepper the Rabbit...
Disclaimer: Please do not read if you are a member of PETA or have a weak stomach or if you have ever held me in any type of high esteem...oh, and this is meant to be funny, at least all the people who have heard this so far have laughed! :)
I am about to tell you a story that has stood the test of time and never disappoints....well, this and my middle school dance videos where I fell not one but TWO years in a row. Anyway, when I was just a wee little child, I asked my parents for a pet rabbit. Naturally, because I was simply delicious, my parents couldn't say "No." We started with a black and white rabbit named Rio, but she was cranky and she bit so she had to go...so, we got to trade her for a dwarf angora rabbit. This precious bunny was small, but his long, soft gray hair made him appear to be average size. I named him Pepper.
And so began our story together. I was told by our friend/rabbit salesmen that Pepper was shipped by plane to his home and he was pretty sure that the pressure and elevation had messed him up because he often ran in circles....constantly was more like it.
I spent many a day enjoying my sweet rabbit....stroking his soft fur. I can almost feel it to this day...big sigh. Anyways, we had very cold winters of course in Washington state and out of the kindness of my heart, I put a bath towel in the cage with my sweet bunny to keep him from being cold and to keep his little feet from being sore on the cage. Unfortunately, I didn't think through the fact that he still ran in circles because of his...ah hem...altered mental state. So, needless to say, we came home one day to find that he had shredded the towel and gotten the strings repeatedly wrapped around his foot and it had killed his foot. His foot was all purple and gangrenous...pretty wretched really. My mom decided she wasn't willing to pay a vet bill for what she called our "Jacked-Up Three-Legged Rabbit" so because the tissue was dead, she cut the foot off with some old scissors!!! For the sake of her reputation, let me add that this is the same woman who once gave CPR to her kitten and succeeded!
Deep breaths...count to ten...ok. I wish I could promise it gets better people. So, several months went by...life happened and I got bored with Pepper. Until one day that is. One day that will live in infamy...
It was sixth grade....back when big Smurf glasses were in and when I thought my mom's home perms were perfection. I looked like the letter L with my size 9 faux Keds and my skinny body...no breasts to speak of and no boyfriends either. So, I needed something to brag about, people.
That's right. This is where Pepper comes in. I lived directly across the street from my school...convenient for when you forget your science homework but not so convenient when your mom drives the local bookmobile...
Anyway, I am getting off track. So, I spent the WHOLE day talking up my rabbit Pepper. On and on I went...about how you could make sweaters out of his fur because it was so rare and valuable, about how he survived and prevailed in spite of having only 3 feet...etc, etc... until I had a crowd all hyped and ready for the bell to ring. Schools out and we all trudge over to my backyard filled with anticipation of what was to come....kids were thrilled with the idea of seeing a real live rabbit, and I was full of expectation of being the coolest thing in town.
Much to our surprise, and my dismay, Pepper's cage was EMPTY. We were scared, upset and on a mission from that moment on. We were going to find Pepper if it took us all day. So, we put a plan together and went in search of my beloved Pepper. We scoured the entire neighborhood for at least two hours until we finally ended up defeated and at my back door.
Just then, my mom opens the screen door. Picture it...I am standing a few feet in front of a handful of exhausted and expectant sixth graders. They are all lined up behind me panting from exhaustion.
"Mom! Where is Pepper?! We can't find him anywhere! We have looked everywhere!"...to which my Mom responds in a flat tone...
"Annette, Pepper died two weeks ago. We were waiting to see how long it would take you to notice."
Hmmm....not really what I was expecting...you can imagine my dismay and my...uh...awkwardness as I sheepishly looked over my shoulder at the slumped shoulders of my peers. They filed off one by one to their homes for dinner. If one of you is reading this right now, this is a shout out to you for hanging in there with me through those next few years. I apologize for any unnecessary trauma and for your wasted efforts to find my neglected rabbit.
The good news? I've never tried having a rabbit again...
I am about to tell you a story that has stood the test of time and never disappoints....well, this and my middle school dance videos where I fell not one but TWO years in a row. Anyway, when I was just a wee little child, I asked my parents for a pet rabbit. Naturally, because I was simply delicious, my parents couldn't say "No." We started with a black and white rabbit named Rio, but she was cranky and she bit so she had to go...so, we got to trade her for a dwarf angora rabbit. This precious bunny was small, but his long, soft gray hair made him appear to be average size. I named him Pepper.
And so began our story together. I was told by our friend/rabbit salesmen that Pepper was shipped by plane to his home and he was pretty sure that the pressure and elevation had messed him up because he often ran in circles....constantly was more like it.
I spent many a day enjoying my sweet rabbit....stroking his soft fur. I can almost feel it to this day...big sigh. Anyways, we had very cold winters of course in Washington state and out of the kindness of my heart, I put a bath towel in the cage with my sweet bunny to keep him from being cold and to keep his little feet from being sore on the cage. Unfortunately, I didn't think through the fact that he still ran in circles because of his...ah hem...altered mental state. So, needless to say, we came home one day to find that he had shredded the towel and gotten the strings repeatedly wrapped around his foot and it had killed his foot. His foot was all purple and gangrenous...pretty wretched really. My mom decided she wasn't willing to pay a vet bill for what she called our "Jacked-Up Three-Legged Rabbit" so because the tissue was dead, she cut the foot off with some old scissors!!! For the sake of her reputation, let me add that this is the same woman who once gave CPR to her kitten and succeeded!
Deep breaths...count to ten...ok. I wish I could promise it gets better people. So, several months went by...life happened and I got bored with Pepper. Until one day that is. One day that will live in infamy...
It was sixth grade....back when big Smurf glasses were in and when I thought my mom's home perms were perfection. I looked like the letter L with my size 9 faux Keds and my skinny body...no breasts to speak of and no boyfriends either. So, I needed something to brag about, people.
That's right. This is where Pepper comes in. I lived directly across the street from my school...convenient for when you forget your science homework but not so convenient when your mom drives the local bookmobile...
Anyway, I am getting off track. So, I spent the WHOLE day talking up my rabbit Pepper. On and on I went...about how you could make sweaters out of his fur because it was so rare and valuable, about how he survived and prevailed in spite of having only 3 feet...etc, etc... until I had a crowd all hyped and ready for the bell to ring. Schools out and we all trudge over to my backyard filled with anticipation of what was to come....kids were thrilled with the idea of seeing a real live rabbit, and I was full of expectation of being the coolest thing in town.
Much to our surprise, and my dismay, Pepper's cage was EMPTY. We were scared, upset and on a mission from that moment on. We were going to find Pepper if it took us all day. So, we put a plan together and went in search of my beloved Pepper. We scoured the entire neighborhood for at least two hours until we finally ended up defeated and at my back door.
Just then, my mom opens the screen door. Picture it...I am standing a few feet in front of a handful of exhausted and expectant sixth graders. They are all lined up behind me panting from exhaustion.
"Mom! Where is Pepper?! We can't find him anywhere! We have looked everywhere!"...to which my Mom responds in a flat tone...
"Annette, Pepper died two weeks ago. We were waiting to see how long it would take you to notice."
Hmmm....not really what I was expecting...you can imagine my dismay and my...uh...awkwardness as I sheepishly looked over my shoulder at the slumped shoulders of my peers. They filed off one by one to their homes for dinner. If one of you is reading this right now, this is a shout out to you for hanging in there with me through those next few years. I apologize for any unnecessary trauma and for your wasted efforts to find my neglected rabbit.
The good news? I've never tried having a rabbit again...
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Strep Throat, Spaghetti Sauce, A Family Tree and Some Poop...
So, my day was filled with some...shall we say...unique things. My dear friend Devon arrived early to begin painting an incredible oak tree on my wall. I found an amazing idea on Pinterest that involves framing and hanging your family tree on the branches of a tree. Pictures to follow...:) Super excited!
BUT, my other dear friends dropped in for a minute...exclaimed about how gorgeous the tree was and we began a fun conversation. And what do you think went through my children's heads? Yep, you guessed it. "Rock on! Mom is distracted! Let's go crazy. She won't notice until it's too late!".
So, I had just finished some spaghetti and was about to dish up when my friends arrived. So, I am oblivious to what happened next. Gentry had one of those big bouncy balls, about the size of a baseball...and he chucked it across my kitchen and it bounced right into my big pan of spaghetti sauce. THEN, he thought it would be beneficial to fish the ball out with the spatula. With his first attempt, he missed the ball in the pot and flung a massive glob of spaghetti sauce all over my tile backsplash. Oh what FUN that must have been...because he proceeded to do that several more times. That is, until Dad found him and pointed it out to me. Wow, all I could do is laugh, the mess was so massive and my kitchen was so red. Needless to say, he got to clean up every last bit of it and though the whiny hour battle of getting him to complete it to my standards wasn't my favorite moment of the day...I am thankful to have taught him the lesson of consequences. I sure wasn't tackling that mess, I'll tell you that! Now, to see if he learned anything....I will let you know I am sure...
Oh, and I bet you think that's all....I wish. Did I mention my sweet daughter was battling strep throat all day? Sweet thing was in need of some TLC so I was moving in several different directions today...you all have been there I am sure.
During one of those moments, we're talking about 15 minutes here people...I sent Easton and Ransom up to their room to play. I remember commenting to Devon that the boys were awfully quiet...never a good sign. Turns out Easton had closed Ransom in the bathroom with him while he pooped. That right there wasn't the most thoughtful act if you ask me....sometimes it stinks to be the little brother. Buwahahah! I CRACK myself up. Buwhahhahah! (Obviously I need to go to bed.)
Anyway, somehow Ransom got the bright idea to reach around his brother and fish out some poop from the toilet. Did this said brother think it was a good idea to stop him? Nope. I have no way of knowing whether or not he encouraged him...but let's just say I'm not ruling it out. So, after following the sounds of giggles I opened the bathroom door to find Ransom coated in brown dots smearing said poop onto my bathroom cabinets. Really?! Really?!
I read in "Wild Things" that I should get used to asking "What were you thinking?!" when raising boys...but REALLY?!
All I can say is pray for me...and while you're at it, you might want to say a prayer for THEM as well.
Best part of the day though...my AMAZING tree...at least now I'll have photos proving where they have gotten all their craziness from...;)
Love,
Netty
BUT, my other dear friends dropped in for a minute...exclaimed about how gorgeous the tree was and we began a fun conversation. And what do you think went through my children's heads? Yep, you guessed it. "Rock on! Mom is distracted! Let's go crazy. She won't notice until it's too late!".
So, I had just finished some spaghetti and was about to dish up when my friends arrived. So, I am oblivious to what happened next. Gentry had one of those big bouncy balls, about the size of a baseball...and he chucked it across my kitchen and it bounced right into my big pan of spaghetti sauce. THEN, he thought it would be beneficial to fish the ball out with the spatula. With his first attempt, he missed the ball in the pot and flung a massive glob of spaghetti sauce all over my tile backsplash. Oh what FUN that must have been...because he proceeded to do that several more times. That is, until Dad found him and pointed it out to me. Wow, all I could do is laugh, the mess was so massive and my kitchen was so red. Needless to say, he got to clean up every last bit of it and though the whiny hour battle of getting him to complete it to my standards wasn't my favorite moment of the day...I am thankful to have taught him the lesson of consequences. I sure wasn't tackling that mess, I'll tell you that! Now, to see if he learned anything....I will let you know I am sure...
Oh, and I bet you think that's all....I wish. Did I mention my sweet daughter was battling strep throat all day? Sweet thing was in need of some TLC so I was moving in several different directions today...you all have been there I am sure.
During one of those moments, we're talking about 15 minutes here people...I sent Easton and Ransom up to their room to play. I remember commenting to Devon that the boys were awfully quiet...never a good sign. Turns out Easton had closed Ransom in the bathroom with him while he pooped. That right there wasn't the most thoughtful act if you ask me....sometimes it stinks to be the little brother. Buwahahah! I CRACK myself up. Buwhahhahah! (Obviously I need to go to bed.)
Anyway, somehow Ransom got the bright idea to reach around his brother and fish out some poop from the toilet. Did this said brother think it was a good idea to stop him? Nope. I have no way of knowing whether or not he encouraged him...but let's just say I'm not ruling it out. So, after following the sounds of giggles I opened the bathroom door to find Ransom coated in brown dots smearing said poop onto my bathroom cabinets. Really?! Really?!
I read in "Wild Things" that I should get used to asking "What were you thinking?!" when raising boys...but REALLY?!
All I can say is pray for me...and while you're at it, you might want to say a prayer for THEM as well.
Best part of the day though...my AMAZING tree...at least now I'll have photos proving where they have gotten all their craziness from...;)
Love,
Netty
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