Boudoir Night...

     It started out as one of those unforgettable nights where your girlfriends persuade you to throw an impromptu slumber party...even though you've repeatedly told them you don't feel like it because you are still too bummed over your recent conflict with your honey just as he was leaving for work...and of course, THESE friends are the kind who tell you to get over yourself and to expect them in about an hour....that's what makes them so good.

     After a couple hours of rich conversation and laughs, we get on the topic of feeling sexy and doing fun things for our husbands...to which I run upstairs to pull out my really cool photo album from a previous boudoir photo shoot a decade earlier. They are shocked I had done it and loved the idea!  To which I replied, "Heck yeah! And he LOVES this book!".  So we of course decide it would be an amazing thing to do again...and we were so right!

     So the professional photographer was hired as well as the professional make-up artist...the time and date and food was planned and prepared...and the kiddos and Daddy-O were conveniently placed in other places.  The invitation was sent and the price was set...didn't know if we would have anyone up for the challenge but instead I had the maximum number met in less than an afternoon...with more wishing they could make it!

     Then the real work began.  The work of getting us wives to believe in our beauty...to believe in our incredible ability to intoxicate our husbands...to believe that every inch of our bodies are celebrated by our grooms.  The work of reeling us back in when our panic set in about the reality of what we had signed on for.  Not all were work, a ton were pumped and thank God for that...they had escaped those lies and their freedom inspired others that night in growth in this area. And what IS so wrong with having a blown up picture of your WIFE in your garage instead of a stranger...okay, okay...so it MIGHT be a little awkward when family visits...

     There were girls who tried to call and cancel but I wouldn't let them!  There were women who texted the concern that they were fat or ugly or imperfect and therefore should stay home.  My daughter read one of those over my shoulder and quickly responded with..."But that is so silly!  Their husbands LOVE them and they aren't even fat!  Besides it doesn't even matter because all that matters is that you are kind and loving to your husbands!"  She was incredulous that a woman wouldn't live there instead. (For the record, Jaren is told how much her Mommy and Daddy love one another and that we have a very special relationship that is different from any other and part of that includes Mommy wearing very pretty stuff that Daddy likes because he thinks that I am beautiful. We feel that is much better than being curious and not having answers or a place to go to learn...and much better than learning from her equally confused classmates who don't have any idea either).
    
     I couldn't help but be convicted when I heard my 6 year-old daughters words.  Where had I gotten so off-track?  What happened to my youthful innocence?  Why...when I had been doing really great at granting myself grace and feeling peace...would I slip back into the old lies of our culture?  Why did I have such high standards for my body when my body had been nothing but kind to me and had produced and fed four precious children?  At what point did I start believing the lies of our culture that say I must be plastic...a fountain of youth...perfect.  My husband sure hasn't been complaining about that body...only that I would work it a little more and gain some more confidence!
    
     So the coaxing and encouraging calls were made and the house was packed with 15 amazing women.  Some were there to create anniversary presents...some were there to give their hubbies the best birthday gift of their marriage to date...others were there to be fed TRUTH and to ROCK it with their superstar poses.

     We all came with our ideas of what poses we wanted to try...some involved the hood of a truck, others involved running medals around necks, others involved cowboy boots and a ton of sass.  It looked like a lingerie bomb had gone off in my house, and it was awesome! 

     Girls are raised to be so modest and that's not altogether a bad thing but we aren't taught to feel comfortable naked,  and then comfortable naked in front of our husbands...much less half-naked in front of other girls.  It was a lesson in how much more confident a woman became when she had her friends cheering her on...whooping and hollering and telling her how amazing she looked and how much her hubby was going to LOVE what she was doing for him...and for herself!  And you wanna know what?  I dare say that the largest women there were the most confident and the thinnest women there had the hardest time going through with it.  There were even several tears...but girlfriends can be amazing encouragers.

     And in the end, we had a viewing party where all of us got back together to see the finished products...to laugh together and to exclaim how AMAZING everyone looked.  It helped to hear others compliments.  It was so great to hear some exclaim, "I had NO IDEA I could look that beautiful! I can't believe how pretty I am!".

     I got emails, texts and phone calls for at least a month afterward...stating how much that night blessed their sex lives, their confidence, their body image, their relationships with their husbands.  Culture and sadly, even christian culture, can try all they like to persuade me that I am doing something wrong by being sexual with my husband but I will not believe that.  I will claim TRUTH...that sex in marriage is a gift and one God INTENDED for GOODNESS between a man and wife. 

     In the words of two brilliant people, Phyllis and Glenn Hill..."The world has let Satan claim sexuality for too long.  People of the light abandoned sex, music, movies, Hollywood, entertainment, etc....and then looked back and said, 'There is only darkness in there'.  We as Christians need to reclaim sexuality instead of running from it".

     So, most of you who know me, know that I will talk on this subject and I will invite you to boudoir photo nights and passion parties. And that I will do my best to share my struggles in this area, my hurdles, my pains and my convictions...because it is TOO IMPORTANT and too fun not to.